A Wintry Mix of Memoir and Vulnerability

This week, I concluded my memoir writing workshop, “The Stories of Our Lives.”

We met weekly on Mondays for one month, and despite being challenged by snow and wintry mixes that either pushed us out a week or delayed our start times, our little group of writers shared their vulnerability in the warmth of the writing circle.

I have taught memoir for fifteen years, and my takeaway is always this: There is a great curiosity about where our words might lead us, coupled with the desire to learn the craft of writing. And so, much of my workshop focused on writing about those pivotal moments in life, reflecting on them, and then teaching the writers to craft an effective takeaway, which is essentially offering the reader the message or lesson learned.

At the end of my workshops, I always ask the writers to share on a notecard what they brought with them and what they took away.  Here are a couple of those responses from our recent workshop:

“I brought doubt about my life stories and asked the question would anyone have interest in them? I brought insecurity and potential embarrassment. I’m taking home the ability to see past my self-doubt. Maybe my story will help me or others. I also learned that everyone has a right to be heard and seen. I am a writer.”

And this: “What did I bring with me? What did I take away? I brought curiosity with me … an open-minded hope to learn more about something I enjoy doing and want to do someday. I took away a memorable warm in-person experience. I took away documents (handouts) and notes to come back to when I’m ready.”

Another wrote: “I brought curiosity, excitement, and a need to explore the writing and critique processes. What did I leave with? A new prompt process. What is pivotal? What are turning points in my life? Write the scene. Consider the story arc.”

As Anne Lamott once said: “You own everything that happens to you.”

This owning of our life stories is grist for further thought, reflection, and ultimately the joy of self-discovery … answering the ultimate questions: Who am I? What has my life been all about?

I especially want to thank our hostess Kimberly Ely for offering examples of her favorite memoirs to our group… excerpts from Stephanie Land’s memoir Maid and Michelle Obama’s Becoming. Kimberly, who blogs at 4 The Love of Peace, also provided hot coffee and tea, biscotti, mandarins, cheese and crackers as we gathered in a room with a view, to quote Virginia Woolf…windows showcasing sunlight on snow-covered trees on a hillside in Chester County, Pennsylvania.

In the end, while the pain of the stories I listen to is often overwhelming, I am touched by the vulnerability in sharing these moments of our lives on a winter’s morning in the warmth of writers supporting writers .