Cherishing Moments with My Aging Lab

I just got back from taking Lily for her annual wellness exam. At 13 years and 2 months old, a lab is already quite old. I know that our time together is coming to a close. But not yet. She has a healthy heart and lungs, and except for honking heavy breathing when it’s hot—a result of a geriatric larynx—I am proud of my old girl. She is a warrior and a survivor, and although she has slowed down, she remains an excellent watchdog with perfect hearing and eyesight, as far as I can tell.

Just watching her contented, utterly peaceful sleep makes idleness seem so much more worthwhile.

This summer is passing by quickly, and I have yet to go anywhere for any extended vacation time, but I count my quiet afternoons reading with Lily by my side as a blessing.

Everything that matters in the world to me is right here at home. My yellow lab, my sons who live nearby and visit often, my books—I just ordered the complete collection of stories by Flannery O’Connor, coming late to the party about her but intrigued when hearing she is a touchstone on questions of faith and speaks her mind—and all the streaming services I need to watch a good movie or series at night.

I admit that I have a taste for the somewhat saccharine series Sweet Magnolias on Netflix, where three women navigate their relationships and careers. I also find myself drawn to more outrageous options like Worst Neighbor Ever and Worst Ex Ever, also on Netflix. The prevalence of psychotic individuals in these shows is alarming. However, not surprising. Unhinged and psychotic behavior is familiar to many of us who go on to write about it.

I have just started reading Brooklyn, by Colum Toibin, about a young woman coming from Ireland to America. His writing is easy to read, and his stories peppered with interesting and ordinary characters. Although I thought his novel, The Testament of Mary, was a former Catholic’s revolt against the mystery of Christ as God, I was turned on to him by a writer in our Women’s Writing Circle, which is why fellowship in a writing group is not just an exchange of ideas but information on authors to explore.

July was also the month I celebrated my birthday, and it led me to realize that, like Lily, my aging lab, I am looking at the final third of my life closing in with each passing day.

How to cope with aging was the genesis for my novel And the Memory Returns. I still have no definitive answers other than to keep writing, stay active, keep writing, cultivate friendships, keep writing… and yes, you see? There is one constant refrain.

As Charles Bukowski declared in his poem “So You Want to Be a Writer”… “don’t be like so many writers, don’t be like so many thousands of people who call themselves writers, don’t be dull and boring and pretentious, don’t be consumed with self-love….”

Bukowski also said, and I paraphrase. Writing should never be forced or a chore; rather, you are just bursting to do it.

It’s like Bill Maher said recently, when I watched the Netflix special where he accepted the Mark Twain Prize for comedy at the Kennedy Center: “Love your audience.” He also respects his audience, and they respect him. Why? Because he says they appreciate him for what no one else does, what they are longing to hear and even need to hear. This is the gift of believing in yourself and your art as truth.

As July comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on small moments. The warm sun has cast its golden glow over Lily lounging in the grass. It grows the huge beefsteak tomato plant on my deck. With August just around the corner, I anticipate even more moments etched in memory, warmth and sunshine, mystery and possibilities, healing through writing, and moving forward on this journey with my aging lab.